It was great to see so many of you at church today. Just wonderful. And I also see that in exploring the more overtly spiritual part of this journey here, perhaps I’ve not done as good a job about talking about daily life as I could.
My energy is probably at about 60% or a bit better than it was before all this happened. Since I was at about 120% of energy of most people I knew before I’m left at about 75-80% of what most people have. I’m up and about. Almost every day I do a few things outside of the house, whether it is a meal out and a doc appointment, blood draw, shot from the doc, infusion (all on the medical side) or a social event with a friend, or errands I’m definitely up and about. And some days I’m out for 12 hours, as doctor’s appointments fold into social into Nathan’s school events… And I sure didn’t have the energy to go to the big rally, or any of the other important civic actions going on around me. I’m conservative (ha) conserving energy and focusing on healing.
In addition to my changed energy level, I’m also not as focused or driven right now as I have been all my life. I sleep more, I am gravitating toward novels (light recommendations for reading welcome) more than serious reading. I’m watching more movies or streaming TV with Ken. And a huge drain on my time and energy is paying attention to our President’s shenanigans and trying to figure out how I fit into addressing those. I just signed up for a text per day on what I can do in my area (All you have to do is text the word DAILY to the number 228466. You’ll be prompted to enter your ZIP code and that’s it—you’re signed up.) And I assume my focus will return as my health does.
All of which is to say, I love your prayers and that is really what I cherish from you. People coming up at church and telling me about their daily spiritual practices and how my name is fitting in. Oh I love that.
This is an illness for the long haul. Our needs for meals or driving or other support could change in months or I pray years, or even better decades. I’m viewing my cancer as a chronic illness not an acute one – kind of like John Edward’s wife Elizabeth’s breast cancer. She had many good years before it got her. And she knew it would likely get her sometime.
Life is good right now, very good.
Prayer – Ground of being. Each of us only have one day – the day we are experiencing right now. Sometimes that feels confining and tight, and even as we live this day we wish for the next. Sometimes we can hold onto today and know it is good. It is better than good, it is after all the only thing we have. Let Alexa and all of us feel the joy of friends, and wind on our cheek, spiritual connection to the divine or the energy that drives us and joyously do what we need to do and want to do today. Eat, drink, be merry – we have today.