Nathan had another day feeling poorly today. Just tons of fatigue.
I had my first chemo today which wasn’t bad at all. And still feeling fine. Staying ahead of nausea with helpful meds. And there was an interesting incident. About 30 minutes into this initial 90 minute infusion the IV site was burning. I asked one nurse to look at it and he gave me a “working fine, no pain no gain” type answer. I called over my nurse and she did a test that showed the IV was failing and needed to be moved – rest of infusion easy and painless.
This brings me to the subject of pain. You’d think I’m assertive and usually push to get rid of pain. Yet, I feel this experience is making me clearer, more assertive, inquisitive and self protective about pain. Doubtless there will be pains all of us can’t prevent. But I know that had I been clearer, more assertive, inquisitive, and self protective about pain two of the really tough things that have happened to me (this Cancer being one) COULD have been truncated, simplified or stopped. Emotional pain, physical pain take action my friends, and don’t think “Oh this is 60 year old digestion” or from a time in my life 20+ years ago “all people treat one another this way…” or whatever it is you may think now or in the future that minimizes even delegitimizes your pain.
So the report is good. And I do think that while the Central Line (port) will be painful going in, not having to be poked with IV for these infusions will be good. The port will be my friend.
And now a prayer. Let us all listen to our pains, speak up for ourselves and our friends. Brave through it if you must but don’t assume that pain as we now experience is what the world has in mind for us. Also in the words of Jacquelyn Sneedof the Chaplaincy Institute which parners with Starr King to teach Spritual Direction. She said early today and how appropriate is this: chemotherapy comes from human minds serving as channels for divine energy. May Alexa’s mind, body and spirit embrace chemotherapy as the source of healing elixirs. As they flow through your body, may they rejuvenate each cell. My her body may she accept these processes with grace and ease and be made whole.